The Paternal Optimist

Like London Buses

The thing about American Cousins, you see, is that you wait around for months, wondering whether they actually exist, and then - Wham ! Bam ! - two come along, one after the other, in the space of a few days. (I'm still waiting for the Thankyou Ma'am !).

It's great to hear some of their news. It's also amusing to see that these young people, who I always assumed were firmly at the forefront of the first generation for whom PCs and the internet are to be taken for granted in the same way as the TV was for mine, are less techno-savvy than I expected, and clearly unfamiliar with the ways of the blogosphere.

Even putting to one side the fact that it took them almost six months to make an appearance here, and that they clearly have not read the rules of the PO, it's difficult to ignore the fact that their choice of posts on which to publish their comments is - how can I say this politely ? - a little eccentric.

After all, American Cousin the Elder's comment was posted on March 15th - on an entry I published almost six months ago, on October 23rd last year.

As for the Guitar Hero - yes, Cousin T, that is your official blog pseudonym, unless you're uncomfortable with such iconic status, of course, in which case you're welcome to change it - he chose to post his name (a big no-no - see the rules of the PO) and e-mail address on March 24th in a comment on the entry from Christmas Eve ! I guess that's the rock 'n' roll lifestyle for you - he's been having such a good time, he's three months behind the rest of us. Or perhaps for him it really is Christmas every day...

Still, as I said, it's great to finally hear some news from the other side of the pond. We miss you too !

Headlines

Boy Wonder claims 4 CDs on basis of unsubstantiated grades in report "not sent to parents". Paternal Optimist said to be skeptical, considering response.

Message purporting to be from American Cousin the Elder appears on blog. Paternal Optimist : "I didn't know they had the internet in Illinois."

Boy Wonder runs away with Gale Mile. (Gale's parents : "Please bring her back soon. We miss her very much.")

Lovebirds ask Boy Wonder, Paternal Optimist to read at wedding. Paternal Optimist : "Well, I knew they were trying to do it on the cheap, but I must admit I was surprised when they suggested we bring our own entertainment."

Paternal Optimist said to be ready to relaunch blog shortly.

Rodney the Rat 2003-2005

It was with great sadness that the Paternal Optimist learnt of the passing away yesterday of Rodney the Rat,  much-loved pet to the Boy Wonder.  Bereavement is never easy, and the PO sends his heartfelt sympathy to the BW in this moment of sadness.

He also offers the following words of wisdom, gleaned from the site Rat Planet, which he hopes will help the BW to come to terms with his loss - and remind him that, though it may not be immediately obvious, Rodney's sibling Wilbur is hurting inside too, and needs the BW's affection now more than ever :

The hardest part of caring for a beloved companion is knowing when to let go. Your rat may let you know when he’s had enough, and will stop eating and drinking. If he shows no interest in life and has no quality of life left, if he is suffering or in pain, and if you have tried every option to make his life easier and improve his health, you have to offer one last kindness … and let go.

[...]

Your rat will always be in your memories, and in time you will remember the good days. How he used to play with a particular toy, or gnaw through your favourite book. These are the good memories. No one can take those away. Rats also grieve for their cage-mates, and will often rush around looking into the places they used to snuggle or play. A bereaved rat can suffer just as we do. Give them extra love and snuggles to help them get over the loss too. Some say it has helped their remaining rats if the body of the deceased rat is laid in the cage with them for a short while. This way, they learn that their friend hasn’t simply deserted them. Of course, this is entirely up to you, and some people may not feel comfortable with this. This is completely understandable.

The Rules of the PO

A gentle slap on the wrist for Missy, who broke both rules one AND two of the Paternal Optimist yesterday evening by referring to the BW by his real name in a comment (and no, don't bother looking now - I've already changed it). Busty blonde, Missy, 35 (real name Hilda Higginbotham), a familiar face in the livelier late-night spots of Bognor Regis, is not the first to blunder in this fashion, but she is the first to do so for some time. The PO trusts it will not happen again.

In the meantime, for anyone in any doubt about the 8 rules of the PO, here is a quick recap :

1. You do not use real names when addressing the PO.
2. You DO NOT use real names when addressing the PO.
3. If someone says "stop" or goes limp, you're on the wrong site. You should probably be here.
4. Only one PO and one BW on this site.
5. One post at a time.
6. No thongs, no flip-flops.
7. Posts will go on as long as they have to.
8. If this is your first visit to the PO, you HAVE to leave a comment.

And remember, children : the Paternal Optimist is always right.