The Paternal Optimist

Guest Post From The Guitar Hero And His Songstress

So, the Guitar Hero and his Songstress have been staying with the PO for the last couple of days. It's been great to have them and we've had a lot of fun - not to mention eating rather well. Today, the PO took them to Gruyères so that they could see a bit of the real Switzerland.

Here's the proof that we were all there together :

And here's evidence of Our American Cousins' innate adaptability - naturally, lunch was a fondue and as you can see from these pictures, they took to it like ducks to water :

As I said, we've had a great time together, and I could go on and on and on in classic PO fashion about it. But thankfully for you, I've got a better idea : why don't we let them tell you all about it themselves ?

The Guitar Hero Speaks :

"Having spent the better part of a month sleeping in squats and eating döner kebabs,  the transition to a clean bed and four course meals was easier than expected.  The PO treated us to roast deer with red currant chutney,  corget cake and Gruyères fondues.  I wasn't the only one at the table who thought that that potato was bite size.  That pic is for the Mad Professor.  Like father, like son!   From Praha to Paris,  Genève is the most beautiful by far.   I look forward so much to treating him to the finest BBQ the midwest has to offer.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart! "

The Songstress Speaks :

"When The Guitar Hero and I boarded the flight for Geneva I was thoroughly "wined up" as we arrived at the airport a good hour early and proceeded to enjoy ourselves a glass or two or three before the flight.  Despite the buzz, I was  still as nervous as I am on all flights.  So... when we were offered the mayo and chopped ham sandwich on the plane I thought, why not indulge, at least it will pass some time, right?  Of course, had I known we were going to be wined and dined for the next three days by the PO, our most wonderful host, I would have skipped the  ham sandy and counted the extra minutes!  I have never eaten so well in my life.  Lamb drenched in succulent sauce,  pumpkin soup, the most tasty grilled fish, and I cannot forget the pistaccio-mint glacé!  And that was just in the city.  Today the PO wisked us away to the most beautiful countryside in Switzerland.  The Autumn colors and sweeping hills were gorgeous.  We walked through the tiny village and ate at this wonderful little cafe that served fondue, which of course I enjoyed very much.  I even got to make friends with a little cat who seemed to be fond of Gruyere too! And I can't forget the double crème chocolate, it was perfect!  I have had the most wonderful time in Genève.  Many thanks to the PO!  I don't know how I'll ever repay him for being such a kind and generous host."

*PO blushes*

Forthcoming Engagements

Now, it's entirely possible the PO may have this all wrong, because he's notoriously not very good with these things, but on the basis of his understanding here are some of the movements going on over the next couple of weeks :

• the Guitar Hero will be bringing his Songstress for a brief sojourn in Geneva from this coming Thursday (October 27th) until Sunday - the PO is really excited about welcoming them to his humble abode, and especially looking forward to the civilizing influence of having a woman around the house for a couple of days (note to self : better clear away the Playstation, empty beer bottles, half-eaten pizzas, random articles of clothing, etc. before Thursday)
• the Mad Professor will be visiting the Principal and the Recluse, exclusively, for one night only, on November 8th, which is great in many ways and a shame in one way, because...
• the PO will also be making a rare appearance back in the land of his Fathers - or at the house of his father, at least - on November 9th and 10th, as he will be coming to hear the Boy Wonder play a piano solo in a concert at Hogwarts

There are also rumours circulating that the BW may take a break from potato-picking to look in on the Principal and the Recluse during the second week of his never-ending half-term break... and that the Surfer Dude may be making a surprise visit to Champaign, Illinois, home of Our American Cousins... but these are, for now, merely rumours.

Naturally, you can expect to hear about all of the above, and much more right here on the PO Gazette.

You Say Potato, I Say Half-Term

So, the Boy Wonder is on what used, in the PO's day, to be called a half-term break - logically enough, because in those far distant days this short period constituted a welcome moment of respite for all diligent and over-worked pupils between the two long halves of the Autumn (or, as some preferred to call it, Michaelmas) Term.

Nowadays, of course, one could be forgiven for thinking that the Hogwarts terms - or quarters, or whatever trendy word is currently being used to describe them - are the moments of respite, spread out over the year to break up the monotony of those oh-so-long holidays. It's a bit like the old riddle of war and peace : is peace a period between two wars, or a war something that separates two periods of peace ? Because, in case you weren't aware, the BW is currently enjoying TWO WHOLE WEEKS off school. How things have changed, eh ?

And how different they could have been... If the BW were at school here in Switzerland - at a cordon bleu cooking college, or exclusive finishing school, for example - he would not be lounging around on the sofa, Playstation 2 console in one hand, large G&T in the other; he would be out bending his back in the fields, picking potatoes.

"Picking potatoes ?" I hear you ask . "What can he mean ?"

Well, it just so happens that I have had time to research the subject, as it's pretty quiet in the office at the moment. The reason for this welcome calm ? The vast majority of those employees who are resident in the canton of Geneva are on their version of a half-term break, taking what are colloquially known as the "vacances de patates" - literally, "potato holidays".

This delightful denomination has a long and distinguished history. More than five hundred years ago, holiday periods in Geneva were fixed around the principal agricultural activities in the area : the harvesting of potatoes and of grapes. The Encyclopédie de Genève informs us that in 1566 school pupils were accorded three weeks vacation during the harvest period. In 1888, the rural communes of the canton fixed by law the following holiday periods : 4 weeks at the end of the academic year, 3 weeks in the autumn and 10 days in the spring. In 1951, the Conseil d'Etat, no doubt reflecting the diminishing importance of agriculture in the canton, as well perhaps as a desire to minimize the exploitation of child labour, the autumn break was reduced to two days. But in 1977, at the same time as a week was taken off the summer vacation in order to introduce a week's break in February, the Easter holidays were shortened by two days and the autumn "vacances de patates" restored to a full week. [Here endeth today's history lesson.]

Whether or not there are still areas in England where people still refer to this period as the potato-picking holidays, I don't know. But interestingly enough, when I mentioned the subject to The Recluse recently, he told me that when he was a child (aeons ago), classrooms were regularly half-empty at this time of year, for exactly the same reason - the pupils were out helping with the potato harvest.

What really matters, of course, is not what one calls one's time, but how one spends it. And on that front, you can always rely on the BW to make the most of every spare moment available. Already this week he has found the time to fit in a trip to Cambridge on some obscure and, to be frank, rather spurious-sounding research trip for some History project or other (no doubt the Mother Superior found time to squeeze in some quality museum-gawping and shop-mooching between research activities).

He's also managed to squeeze in a trip to the bank, where, in an effort to regulate certain cashflow problems - apparently injections of money supply from the Mother Superior Central Bank are somewhat erratic both in timing and in quantity - he has opened his own account and will shortly be accepting standing orders. After 15 years working in private banking, the PO was particularly impressed with the way in which he nonchalantly dismissed warnings about the pitfalls of managing a monthly budget, and looks forward to making his first international wire transfer just as soon as the BW receives his mid-term report and calculates the number of CDs he is owed. Watch this space.

The Dark Side Of The Boy Wonder

There comes a time in every boy's life when he shows his true colours. Those which will mark him out from his peers and characterize him for the rest of his life. The traits that will define the way in which he is perceived.

Last Thursday lunchtime was just such a moment in the Boy Wonder's life - and alas, it is my sad duty to report that the events of said lunchtime leave the PO trembling - no, quaking before the future.

The scene was the room next to the Great Hall at Hogwarts where the Mother Superior and the PO had a series of encounters with Dedicated Professionals earlier this year; the occasion, an informal lunchtime concert.

The BW's contribution might at first glance seem innocent enough : a performance of Dr Gradus ad Parnassum by Claude Debussy, a work previously discussed on this blog, here. But as with any act of cruelty, it is not the inoffensive tool itself that does the damage, but the person that wields it.

And so it was here.

Without so much as a thought for the consequences, the Boy Wonder played this simple piece of music by Debussy in such a way that - and I have it on the authority of the Mother Superior, so it must be true - none other than his own grandmother, the Hip Granny, was reduced to tears !

Does his heartlessness know no bounds ? Is there nothing he will not do ?

The PO can only fear now for his own safety, if, as he hopes, he is able to attend the BW's next performance in early November, at which he is threatening to turn the audience into a collective sobbing and gibbering wreck by playing Shostakovich's first Prelude and Fugue  - a work clearly chosen deliberately on account of the cherished place it holds in the PO's heart.

It's enough to make a father weep, I tell you.