Those of you with long memories and/or lives empty of interest and significance may remember that almost a year ago the PO launched his version of the classic cash-for-arms deal so beloved of politicians, offering to that walking rogue state, the Boy Wonder, a CD for every net grade above 2B* scored in his end of term school reports.
*Don't understand the rules ? You'll find a handy reminder here.
Of course, the PO naturally assumed at the time that by CD the BW meant Compact Discs. Whereas he now realises that in fact he was referring to Certificates of Deposit.
Not convinced ? Consider the evidence :
- Since the CD42B+ scheme was initiated, the BW has earned something in the region of thirty to forty CDs (a number boosted by the eleven - yes, eleven - earned by his latest report, more of which below).
- However, in all that time he has only managed to provide the PO with a grand total of four specific requests for particular albums, despite repeated prompting. (In desperation, the PO even bought him two albums he had not asked for - this and this, since you ask, neither of which, to the PO's great disappointment, the BW has commented on since - but despite appearances, he does not have time to dream up endless lists of music the BW might just like every time he gets a new school report).
- Late last year the BW opened a brand new bank account.
Conclusive evidence, I am sure you will concur. In any case, as far as the PO is concerned, the BW has signalled his intentions clearly and unambiguously: he plans to take his quarterly bonuses in the form of wire transfers (just as soon as he gets round to informing the PO of the details of his shiny new account) and then to invest them in risk-free interest-bearing instruments. To be frank, the PO can only admire such wisdom in one so young.
As for the BW's latest report, what is there the PO can say that he has not said in his previous school report posts ? With thirteen grades of 2B and above (not including the straight As for each of his musical instruments) and only two below, this has to be the best the BW has ever received. Most revealingly, perhaps, a comparison between this report and that received a year ago, after the BW's first term at Hogwarts, shows that his grades this time round were as good or better in every single subject.
Really, I don't know how a man can be expected to satirise that.
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