** World Exclusive **
The PO is excited to announce that he will shortly be launching a bold attempt on the world finger-crossing record. [To those who claim that he must already be the world record-holder, having crossed his fingers the day he went to public school and kept them crossed until the day, almost nine years later, when he graduated, he raises a single, uncrossed digit.]
Yes, readers, it's true : tomorrow morning upon rising he will be slipping the index finger of each hand beneath its corresponding middle finger, then wrapping the latter snugly around the aforementioned index finger until such time as it becomes firmly wedged - with the intention of maintaining this contorted position until Saturday lunchtime, three and a half days later !!
Naturally, there will be those who will pour scorn on the PO, throwing half-eaten hamburgers at him, dropping their trousers in front of him and generally dismissing his efforts as some sort of David Blaine-style publicity stunt.
Those who recognise the PO for what he truly is, however, will pause for a moment before lobbing their snacks or displaying their less-than-rosy cheeks and ask themselves a simple question : why ?
Well, as is so often the case with simple questions, there is a very simple answer : tomorrow morning, the BW, along with 31 other candidates (including Young Mr Hoskins and four other fellow Hogwarts pupils) will be setting out on the arduous journey that is the Hogwarts scholarship. Beginning with English and a French oral, ending on Saturday morning with Greek, and passing not only by the full gamut of academic subjects but also via "assessed activities", including problem-solving exercises, a maths quiz and scenarios designed to show their behaviour within a group, these intrepid teenagers will be tested, measured and evaluated in every way known to man - and the PO for one thinks the BW deserves all the help (in the form of superstitious mumbo-jumbo) he can get. So not only will he be crossing his fingers - he will also be gently caressing a rabbit's foot, doing whatever it is you're supposed to do with horseshoes and desisting from his favourite pastime of albatross shooting for the duration of the BW's ordeal.
After which, he will have a couple of days to flex his doubtless stiff little fingers and make full use of all ten of his digits, before crossing them once again next Tuesday morning in anticipation of the BW's Grade VII piano exam.
Good luck, BW (and YMH) !!
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